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Salem, Mass (Witch City) resident with deep southern roots! Love New England - let it snow! Still making up for all those years south! I'm a widow attempting to make merry but it is very hard. This is my way to vent, share, and talk about my path to finding happiness again. September 2006 I became a widow. My road out of the abyss of grief, guilt, and anger hasn't been easy but I'm clawing my way to something better. Seeing rays of hope and joy. Feel free to comment, share words of wisdom, or just read about my fairly mundane life. Slainte!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Some Men Should Have Electronic Collars...

or women should have better radar!  I know I'm kind of new at this whole going out and meeting people stuff as a single woman.  For those few of you who read this, you know I've had feelings reawakening and though I am not out stalking anyone (though there is this one guy.... no!), I'm more open to meeting people - guys in particular.  This is my coming out of grief, denial, and hibernation of the last three years.  But I swear guys can be the most contrary people!  And they complain about us women - ha!  Why is it the nice guys are the ones that don't make contact?  I should say the nice, available guys.  I think this is why women go out in packs (two or more) so we can protect one another from the creeps, the droolers, the drunks, the "hey baby I'm so good for you" types!  Now I'm not talking about every guy out there but for some reason there appears to be a proliferation of these types lately and they don't know when to leave you alone or just plain leave!

I go out by myself sometimes.  If I'm lucky I'll see that really cute guy I'm crushing on and we'll talk.  If not, then I still usually have a good time.  Usually!  Sometimes I just give up and go the heck home.  I don't want to be pawed, slobbered over, or fed drinks (one is nice, two is questionable).  I want to meet a nice guy and talk and get to know him.  There are guys who want to skip this whole bit!  They think we are going to look at them, listen to their line, and follow them home like a puppy.  Well you know what you can do with that!

Sometimes it even happens with those you know a little and think you are safe with.  My gosh!  One minute you're talking about football or whatever and the next thing you know he's putting the moves on you - literally and figuratively.  I know a lot of it is alcohol-infused - heck, I've been there and done that (but not recently). So I try to give a guy a bit of a break if that is the situation.  But enough is enough.  Don't get touchy-feely unless we invite it, which we usually won't.  You see, women try to be nice.  We don't like to create scenes.  We will smile and be gritting our teeth at the same time we're thinking "wtf?". We don't like to hurt anyone's feelings.  But some guys think that is tacit consent to proceed down another path.  Wrong!

We usually have pretty good radar but sometimes it goes on the fritz.  I remember one night a couple of months ago a friend and I met for drinks at our local pub.  It was before Christmas and there was a group of guys there having drinks before they went to a "private party".  One of them took a shine to my friend.  He offered to buy both of us a drink.  We both figured OK he's offering to buy for both of us so it's a nice holiday gesture.  The seat next to my friend opened up and he slid in there so fast you swear he left skid marks! He bought more drinks and talked and moved closer and closer.  She didn't want to make a scene or be violent. She ignored him, talked to me, talked to anyone but him.  Still he starts draping himself over her chair and over her.  No matter what we said, he would not leave her alone.  It got so bad I was getting ready to be rude and abnoxious when thankfully he had to leave for his "private party".  He left her his phone number and while she escaped to get some fresh air he came back in and told me to please tell her he "would make her so happy and be so good for her".  He knew this after one hour of loud, bar conversation.  Amazing!

Now that dude needed one of those electronic dog collars that has a remote where you can just zap them and say "down boy!".  Or maybe we should just carry tazers!

I've had two experiences lately with guys I know.  One is like my brother and I see quite often.  Yes he was drunk but after knowing him for many years he suddenly pulls me onto the dance floor (who knew he could dance?) for a slow dance.  Then it gets kissy and touchy.  I'm laughing but he is dead serious.  I will never hold it against him since he is such a good friend but I think I'll stay a couple drinks behind him and keep my guard up.  We're friends and will never be anything more.  The other was another bar encounter with an acquaintance.  I refuse to give up goig to my local pub and enjoying a drink or two with friends!

Oh sweet mystery of life - what the heck do we do?  The good ones don't always show up, don't always talk when they do but the others are always there!  Please don't get me wrong I love the company of a good man.  Where is he?

Tongue in cheek this is sort of - maybe. This is another of my baby steps!

Peace and maybe love?

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