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Salem, Mass (Witch City) resident with deep southern roots! Love New England - let it snow! Still making up for all those years south! I'm a widow attempting to make merry but it is very hard. This is my way to vent, share, and talk about my path to finding happiness again. September 2006 I became a widow. My road out of the abyss of grief, guilt, and anger hasn't been easy but I'm clawing my way to something better. Seeing rays of hope and joy. Feel free to comment, share words of wisdom, or just read about my fairly mundane life. Slainte!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Soundtrack of My Life

Do you ever feel like you are in a movie or even TV show?  Like there is music playing around you?  I swear I have a soundtrack that follows my life!  Today's it has been Abba (what?) "Take a Chance on Me".  Most days it is a combination of things reflecting what I am doing or thinking.  "You Don't Know Me" has been playing a lot lately!  I'm the type of person who can rarely get into a vehicle without turning on the radio or putting on a CD.  Songs are so sensory!  They bring back memories - smells, places, people.  They also make new memories! People say words and music or lyrics pop into my head.  This may sound annoying but I love it!  I think I must have been born with music.  I am not accomplished at anything, though I tinker at piano and used to be very good at clarinet.  Singing and dancing are my best talents when it comes to music. 

So now as I am focusing on moving forward with my life, maybe finding love again, venting about things in the that I kept buried, I am going to listen to that music in my head and see what it's telling me.  Maybe that is my guiding spirit, those songs are popping up for a reason.  Or could be I'm just freaking nuts!  Nah...that's too easy.  Everyone, including my Wii Fit unit, knows I'm a little off balance sometimes!

So maybe you'll see a new theme running through these musings - song titles, lyrics, etc.  I've done it some in the I'm trying to be very positive and focus on good things!  So get ready for some insight into the soundtrack of my life.  Maybe it'll give me some insight too!  Lord knows I need it.

Love and Peace or Else - U2

Friday, May 14, 2010


may be getting the best of me.  Either that or my thyroid medication is all messed up.  It is quite possibly a combination of both.  I've had the follow-up kisses and words of endearment.  I understand we each have our separate lives that we are just giving each other a peek into at this stage of the game.  So now I am hoping to see him tonight - unencumbered by his buddies this time.  Yes, real life stepped into my fairytale last weekend but that's just fine. He was straight up about it - out with friends and been partying most of the afternoon.  It made me take a step back and take a look at this...this thing.  I have to give it time and it has to be a mutual decision when we take this a step farther.  I will readily admit to fantasies of many kinds running through my head.  So I have to temper myself from wanting to "jump" this guy (as my niece would say) by having some restraint and making sure that if/when that happens, it is right for both of us.

There is a lot we don't know about one another yet.  But when we talk, we talk a lot so I think we're learning.  I'm getting those butterflies again about going out on a Friday night in anticipation of just seeing him.  That has to mean something!  So if anyone reads this, say a little prayer that this is the real deal and that I will find guidance along the way.

Now the clock is ticking louder as the waking hour nears...time to start thinking about outfit, perfume, etc.  All for a possibility...but I think that's okay.

Peace everyone!