My photo
Salem, Mass (Witch City) resident with deep southern roots! Love New England - let it snow! Still making up for all those years south! I'm a widow attempting to make merry but it is very hard. This is my way to vent, share, and talk about my path to finding happiness again. September 2006 I became a widow. My road out of the abyss of grief, guilt, and anger hasn't been easy but I'm clawing my way to something better. Seeing rays of hope and joy. Feel free to comment, share words of wisdom, or just read about my fairly mundane life. Slainte!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Feeling Alright!

This will be short but it's been a long time since I posted.  My father passed August 2, 2010.  I had surgery September 9, 2010.  Been a busy few months.  But life goes on.  My life has been so blessed this handsome, caring guy is here beside me almost every night!  How could one person ask for more?  He is phenomonal man.  He was with me the night I came home from the hospital, taking care of me, making sure I ate and got out of bed...and didn't overdue the Vicodin! LOL!  Then as I recovered he has been with me every step of the way.  The wonderful part is...he isn't going anywhere!  Oh he is a hot commodity and women are looking at him.  He looks back but tells everyone he is with me!  He recently told an old friend hadn't seen in a while that he had met a girl and was totally in love with her.  Damn!  That would be me!  Swoon!!!!!!!  When he told me this I asked him if he really said that.  He responded "yes. Wouldn't you say you are totally in love with me?"  Answer = YES, Hell YES!

Sorry for the shouting but I never thought I could be this happy!  This wonderful man is such an important part of my life it hard to believe.  He thinks I am gorgeous, hot, and fun!  I know he is!  He makes me feel so wonderful.

Let me set this record straight...this isn't all about sex either.  There are quite a few nights all we do is cuddle, watch movies, and fall asleep.  The others are our own secret magic that no one needs to know about or would probably understand.  We were meant to be together!  This is fate, destiny, God's blessing...whatever you want to call it.  We are so good together in every way!  He hates technology...I'm steeped in it.  He is so intelligent he challenges my mind every day.  Who thought I would be doing Cryptoquotes?!  He can solve most of them; I'm just learning.

Yes I am rambling because what else is there to say.  We love one another and are in this for the long haul.  Others may doubt and talk about us but they just don't know what we really have.  We don't care because we do.  My friends and family know...that's all that matters.

To my guy:
Thank you for loving me!  I love you so much! 

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Arms of a Strong Man

In the past few weeks, my life has been tossed and turned upside down.  I am in a wonderful relationship with a man who cares deeply for me and just wants to make me happy.  My father, who was already ill, passed away suddenly.  I only returned from his memorial service on Wednesday night.  I can honestly say that if it were not for the support of my friends and family I would be in a lot worse shape at the moment.  I can say that the old axiom - you never know who your friends are until you need them - is very true.  I want to thank them all for just being there.  I need to thank that wonderful man in my life for keeping me sane and focused and giving me the strength to make the trip to Louisiana and back solo.  Oh he offered to go with me at least twice but we both knew this was not the time for him to make his first visit to my family.

Oh the arms of this strong, sensitive, loving man are such a blessing.  He holds me tight and lets me babble on. When I get too quiet, he also asks questions; probing so I will vent and start the healing process.  We ask ourselves each time we are together, how did we find each other? We have the same answer - fate, destiny! We are such a wonderful match in many, many ways.  We love and support one another and hopefully will continue to do so for a long time to come.  We are so lucky to have each other.

We are spending more and more time together with work and other obligations holding their places while we try to strike a balance.  Every time I see him, my heart sings.  Every time he leaves, I think how many hours until I see him again.

This is not all about sex either.  That would be too easy.  We truly enjoy one another.  Sometimes we just cuddle and watch movies and fall asleep in each other's arms.  There is a comfort we have with one another that neither of us expected so quickly.  Again, we shake our heads, say "fate" and smile in the glow around us.

Thank you to everyone who has been with me and continues to be as the grieving process continues.  Thank you especially to my know I love you.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Richard Keith Tankersley 1923-2010 - official Obituruary

Beloved husband of Louise Miles Baxley Tankersley. Richard Keith Tankersley was born in Auburn, NE on July 2, 1923, son of the late Raymond and Leoe Snow Tankersley. Loving father of Kathy Tankersley of Salem, MA, Carla Baxley (Kenny) Martin of Jonesboro, LA, and James Baxley II of Quitman, LA. Brother of Shirley Gilfert of Syracuse, NE, and Enid Stinson of Leavenworth, KS, sister-in-laws Betty J. Tankersley of Toledo, Ohio, Betty L. Tankersley of Carmel, Indiana, granddaughter Carrie Martin (James) Williams of Arcadia, and two grandsons: J K Martin of Jonesboro, LA and James Baxley III of Quitman, LA. Also survived by two great-grandchildren. He is preceded in death by his first wife, Cloteal Peevy Tankersley, two sons, Charles Richard and Ronald Keith Tankersley, two brothers, Raymond, Jr., and Larry Tankersley, and a sister, Doris Ruge.

Fondly known as “Tank”, he graduated from Weeping Water High School, Weeping Water, Nebraska. After high school graduation, Mr. Tankersley was employed by Glen L. Martin aircraft manufacturers in Omaha, Nebraska on the test line of B-26 and B-17 bombers. Despite a deferment, he volunteered for military service during World War II. He served in the U S Army Air Corps as a flight engineer and was attached to the 2nd, 3rd, 8th, and 10th Air Groups/Squadrons. He advanced to the rank of Tech Sergeant and was attached to a training group at Barksdale Air Force Base where he met General Charles de Gaulle while training French airmen. Barksdale Air Force Base VFW recently celebrated Tank's service to his country with an honorarium.

Before moving to Jonesboro, he held several jobs including express car train guard and Greyhound bus driver. He started work at Southern Advance Bag and Paper Company as a laborer. He furthered his education at ICS and the Institute of Science and Technology in Chicago. In 1959 he was promoted to Quality Control Supervisor with Continental Can Company and was subsequently promoted to lead color chemist and lab supervisor. He retired in 1984. Mr. Tankersley was responsible for developing the Sears “gray” and JC Penney “brown” trademark bag colors in the 1960s. He loved cars and was co-owner of the first Toyota dealership in the region.

An avid traveler, he was a member of the Wally Bayam Caravan Club International (WBCCI) for 23 years, holding all elected offices in the WBCCI Northeast Louisiana Unit, including President. He spent many years “air streaming” all over the United States including Alaska and Canada. He was devoted to church and family. From 1946-1961, he was a member of Centerpoint Methodist Church. From 1961-1999, he was a member of Jonesboro United Methodist Church 1961-1999, where he served on the Administrative Board, Chairman of Trustees for four terms, Chairman of the Building and Grounds Committee, Church Bus Committee Chairman, and held every office but Chairman of the Board. He also chaired the Renovation Program for four years. In 1999, he became a member of Fellowship Baptist Church. He was an active member of the Council on Aging (COA), where he served on the Board of Directors, and is a former Chairman of the COA. Entered Hodge Masonic Lodge 1947 and advanced to degree of Fellowcraft with a 50 year diploma.

Along with his wife, Louise, he established and ran the Jonesboro United Methodist Church Food Program for eight years. Together they also ran a clothing fund focusing on children's needs.

Funeral services will be private. Graveside services for family and friends will be held at 10:00 a.m. on Monday, August 9, 2010 at Jonesboro Cemetery. A celebration luncheon will follow at Fellowship Baptist Church.

Sunday, July 25, 2010


"This must be love, I'm feeling; This must be love" - Phil Collins

Wow how quickly things change. The "waiting" is still a factor but I have no doubts where my heart lies or where his does either.  He has held me in his arms every night except two for the past week! We wonder aloud if this is too much too soon but then we remember that we're not 18 year olds.  We adore one another and want to spend as much time together as possible.  Even if it is just watching a movie cuddled on the couch or eating dinner by candlelight on the deck, it is all so good and so sweet.  We don't have to have marathons to prove anything to one another.  All we do is look into each other's eyes and we see our souls.  As he says "this is destiny, this is our fate"!  I agree. 

Waking up to his warm body, hearing his heartbeat, and feeling the light touch of his fingers as he reaches to hold my hand.  Ah, sublime!  Then the hugs and kisses as we part for the day.  I am tingling as I write this; we were both tingling as we kissed goodbye.

Lord please don't let this ever get old or end.  We were meant for one another.  We both know it.  It's work but it is fun too.  We each have our other worlds that have yet to be penetrated but we'll get there...slowly meeting friends of one another and maybe at some point, families.  Going with the flow of happiness right now.  Please let it last...forever.

Love and Peace to all!

P.S.  Waiting is still the hardest part

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I Want to be Sedated!

Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated - The Ramones

Yep, going nuts again...still! I think the heat is getting to me.  Heat, work, my own impatience, that guy!  I just want to DO something!  I am no longer content to sit around here - as much as I am addicted to Facebook and the PC - I want more out of life!  So what do you do?  Friends for the most part have their families and events going on; I'm out here on my own (uh oh, isn't that another Whitesnake song?).

Got up this morning and it's Sunday - used to be my lazy day.  Now I don't want it to be. Not that I don't have a lot of stuff I COULD do, it's just not what I WANT to do. I feel like I have woken from a long slumber and now and fully fueled, revved and ready to go - a finely honed engine with a body that's still being streamlined  - LOL!

Young girls - take some advice from me!  Never go into a long-term relationship with a much older man.  I loved him but it was not easy and now he's dust and I'm trying to move forward.  I don't care how much money they have, though it may give you pause, think about your long-term future.  Do you want to be where I am - trying to enjoy the things you should have 20 years ago!  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have to tell that the first half of our life together was pretty good, the last half was split between my career taking off and me trying to keep him from drinking himself to death.  Not great memories.  We had wonderful trips and he was a good guy, a fun guy...but at some point the love turned into dependence.  We both should have walked but we didn't.  We screamed and fought - I cried more than anything else. Everyone saw it - including the guy I'm kind of with now! Now guy still can't figure out how anyone could treat me so badly.  I have no answers except I was stupid enough not to leave!

So ladies be careful!  Listen to your heart, not your wallet.  Material things are just that...replaceable.  The love and life I missed can't be replaced -  though someone may be trying to help me make up for it in their own weird way. LOL!

Sedated - yep - I'm back to the good old meds that have kept me somewhat sane for the past few years.  Nothing wrong with that.  I'm not an abuser but on days like today when I spent too much time alone...I need to shut down my mind and my emotions.  Feel like I'm going 90 miles an hour while sitting still.

"Waiting is the hardest part" still applies!

Rambling on today, aren't I?!  Go have some fun you people!  I'll manage something for myself.

Peace and love to all!

Take My Breathe Away

"Is this love that I'm feeling?Is this the love that I've been searching for?" - Whitesnake
I guess I'm learning to always expect the unexpected.  Now for someone who has had a fairly orderly life for the past umpteen years, this blows my mind a bit.  Not that I don't like it - I love it, but it does present its challenges.  I'm trying to figure out how this person thinks...good luck, some of you will say!
Spur of the moment - sitting on the deck talking about ourselves, getting to know one another still; holding hands while watching TV.  Suddenly it's 2:30 and we are both supposed to be up at 5:30!  Yikes!
Sweet passion that finally does take our breathe away...5:30 becomes 8:30.  Sweetness he says as he kisses me goodbye.

No go re-read "Waiting is the hardest part"!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Waiting is the hardest part

Yep - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers starting off this Fourth of July! It is the hardest part of many things in life. Waiting for a plane, for the work day to end, for sleep to come, or for the next event in a relationship.  OK so you knew where I was going with this.  This is a rollercoaster ride.  Just had the most amazing week with that that special guy.  Went on an impromptu dinner date on Tuesday that was so sweet, intimate, and reassuring that we can be alone and enjoy one another in conversation, etc. Then Thursday was another surprise.  We kind of expected to meet up but not sure (am I ever?).  Then we have the most awesome night.  Sitting on my deck watching the stars and Venus with a cool breeze blowing.  Staying up to almost sunrise! Oh, my, my! Friday again - sitting on the deck, both falling asleep watching a movie.  So sweet and loving.

So what is my problem?  I always like a challenge and yes this is one for sure!  A free spirit that I don't want to tame but would like to able to communicate with a little easier.  Doesn't do phones unless he has to; same with computers - likes face to face.  Doesn't like being pigeonholed, not a planner except for work.  Whew - I love it but it drives me nuts.  So waiting IS the hardest part.  I know he cares; I know there is no one else he is interested in; I trust him.  He's starting to talk about "us" and about me to others.  But for a girl who is totally plugged in and connected this is a daunting task!  Self-confidence where are you?!  The stakes are high, putting friendship on the line for romance and love.

In the meantime what do I do with myself?  Go out and have fun, see my friends at the pub, life goes on.  But do you remember the dog in "Up".  Ever once in a while this very intelligent talking dog would revert back to basic instinct at the sound of  "squirrel"?  Hey I'm doing one has to say the name but I hear it in my head and there my mind goes..."chasing wabbits" as he would say. He's my wabbit! LOL!

Time for some more G'n'R Z "Patience".  Happy Fourth of July everyone!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

It's a new dawn

It's a new day, it's a new life and I'm feeling good"  - so the lyric goes.

Last night I took off my wedding band for good.  I've been wearing it on my right hand for the past year.  It's pretty but it represents the past.  When that special person told me last night that he had known we were meant to be since we met five years ago - when we talked for the first time and he gave me money to play the jukebox - I kissed him and took it off and tucked it away in my jewelry box.  We have a long way to go in this new relationship but we're going to make it work.  We both have our baggage but we both have known from that day that there was something special between us. Now we're exploring and discovering.  So as I sit here dreaming of him (and it's only been four hours since we parted), I know I am totally smitten and loving him. love. 

My theme song is still "Patience".  Now I need another nap! LOL!

Peace and love to all.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Patience and Reflection

Well Patience is one of my favorite Guns 'n' Roses songs and there are so many songs about "reflections" I couldn't pick one if I had to so this is my mood right now. It's Father's Day - I love you Dad. Today is very emotional for me. My dad is still alive and aware but he may never see his home again.  After a series of health issues that started with a broken leg and ended up with a pacemaker, he has completed his allotted number of days in rehab.  Unfortunately at almost 87 he is not bouncing back like he did two years ago when he had his hip replacement or even almost four years ago when he had a pulmonary embolism that almost took him.  So he is transitioning into a nursing home environment.  I'm not even going to kid about calling "assisted living", he needs so much assistance round the clock that he can't come home.  Now I live 2,000 miles away but we have always been very close - I'm the only surviving child; have been the only child for my entire life - never knew my two brothers.  So today I am sad.  I send him a beautiful card and the razor he wanted.  My wonderful stepmom takes him my cards, packages, and messages and makes sure he knows how much I love him.  But I can't talk to him.  No cell phones allowed and when they do try to sneak one in he can't hear me because he doesn't like to wear his hearing aid. Frustration there! I have a special friend who is taking his dad out to brunch today and that makes me smile.  I hope it's a wonderful day...I'm also a tad jealous because I would like to do that too.
This is life - the hand we are dealt; I am normally very strong and roll with the punches.  For some reason today is very tough.  I'll go out later and seek the solace of friends and a few drinks.  Maybe see someone special.
Patience I need for all parts of my life but especially in my blooming relationship.  We want this to be a good thing - maybe a long-term thing, not to rush too much. But we both want some things so badly. I have to take a deep breath and step back and be so happy just for the conversations, the kisses, the small touches that mean so much, the whispers of endearment.
Now if my phone would just stop pocket dialing his number! LOL! Seriously - I called it on purpose (I have permission) then you know these stupid phones - hit the wrong button it repeats the last process.  I think I'm a nut case already - I don't need any help from the Droid!

Enjoy your day - I'll survive and be much better later on today.  Thanks for reading.

Peace and love to all!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sunday Soundtrack

Starting out with something very mellow - Snow Patrol and Ray Montagne.  Though Snow Patrol makes me think of U2, which will be on tap for later today while I'm out at the pub.  Almost did some Ramsey Lewis but I'm holding that for when/if someone special ever comes over.  It's wine and candlelight type of jazz.  Woke up thinking of steamy southern nights of my childhood and singing "Summertime". 
After two weeks of nothing had two nights in a row with that guy! Nothing as steamy physically though we both talked about those encounters and how great they were.  Hoping to see a sighting of him tonight.  He is an enigma.  I know just enough to know I want more! Maybe that is his game - his MO.  I have to learn to be patient.  Hence the mellow soundtrack this morning, which I hope heats up as the day progresses.
Tomorrow I'm off with my bestest friend for some shopping and sampling over next door in Marblehead.  Supposed to be a beautiful day and we're both off from work.  She is the best!  It truly was fate that brought us together - it is hard to believe I've only known her a year!  It is one of those relationships where we don't compete, we're like long, lost sisters.
Now about that guy...Dream..dream, dream, dream... (with a bit of "Say a Little Prayer for Me")!
Peace and love to all!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Soundtrack of My Life

Do you ever feel like you are in a movie or even TV show?  Like there is music playing around you?  I swear I have a soundtrack that follows my life!  Today's it has been Abba (what?) "Take a Chance on Me".  Most days it is a combination of things reflecting what I am doing or thinking.  "You Don't Know Me" has been playing a lot lately!  I'm the type of person who can rarely get into a vehicle without turning on the radio or putting on a CD.  Songs are so sensory!  They bring back memories - smells, places, people.  They also make new memories! People say words and music or lyrics pop into my head.  This may sound annoying but I love it!  I think I must have been born with music.  I am not accomplished at anything, though I tinker at piano and used to be very good at clarinet.  Singing and dancing are my best talents when it comes to music. 

So now as I am focusing on moving forward with my life, maybe finding love again, venting about things in the that I kept buried, I am going to listen to that music in my head and see what it's telling me.  Maybe that is my guiding spirit, those songs are popping up for a reason.  Or could be I'm just freaking nuts!  Nah...that's too easy.  Everyone, including my Wii Fit unit, knows I'm a little off balance sometimes!

So maybe you'll see a new theme running through these musings - song titles, lyrics, etc.  I've done it some in the I'm trying to be very positive and focus on good things!  So get ready for some insight into the soundtrack of my life.  Maybe it'll give me some insight too!  Lord knows I need it.

Love and Peace or Else - U2

Friday, May 14, 2010


may be getting the best of me.  Either that or my thyroid medication is all messed up.  It is quite possibly a combination of both.  I've had the follow-up kisses and words of endearment.  I understand we each have our separate lives that we are just giving each other a peek into at this stage of the game.  So now I am hoping to see him tonight - unencumbered by his buddies this time.  Yes, real life stepped into my fairytale last weekend but that's just fine. He was straight up about it - out with friends and been partying most of the afternoon.  It made me take a step back and take a look at this...this thing.  I have to give it time and it has to be a mutual decision when we take this a step farther.  I will readily admit to fantasies of many kinds running through my head.  So I have to temper myself from wanting to "jump" this guy (as my niece would say) by having some restraint and making sure that if/when that happens, it is right for both of us.

There is a lot we don't know about one another yet.  But when we talk, we talk a lot so I think we're learning.  I'm getting those butterflies again about going out on a Friday night in anticipation of just seeing him.  That has to mean something!  So if anyone reads this, say a little prayer that this is the real deal and that I will find guidance along the way.

Now the clock is ticking louder as the waking hour nears...time to start thinking about outfit, perfume, etc.  All for a possibility...but I think that's okay.

Peace everyone!

Saturday, April 24, 2010


are beautiful but I have them in my tummy and in my heart!  Kisses are so wonderful and so scary.  Someone to laugh with, to share things with, maybe someone to love...just don't know yet. The tentative tilt of the head, the warm, soft touch, the total immersion in showing such affection. The eager, lusty follow-ups. Then not wanting to let go.  Oh my my! Do women swoon anymore?!  Knowing the feeling is mutual is wonderful, exhilarating, and so scary. How will you react the next time we see one another? How will I? I may need more Xanax! LOL! Now the waiting game...when will it happen again?  Soon I hope.  As we parted, we each said "to be continued".  So will this dear reader.

Peace and love to all!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Baby Steps - Part II

Still working on this.  We talk, we chat, we flirt.  Sometimes with other people. Sometimes just the two of us. It's a slow dance is how I describe it to my friends.  Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we run into one another once or twice a week; sometimes not at all.  It's a wave or it's a long chat with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Sometimes he just leaves.

But you know - it's all good!  I've decided I am worthy of another relationship.  I loved my late husband but we did not always have a healthy relationship.  Now it's my turn to have a little control.

Hugs and kisses on the cheek even the "love ya" was a thrill! Others are noticing there is a spark!

I feel good about going out.  I put some effort into it - not just throwing on jeans and a shirt; but putting on some makeup, paying attention to my hair and trying to look nice!

It takes time, it takes two...

Slow dancing, swaying to the music...

Wicked Weather - Life in New England

DC gets pounded with not inches but feet of snow!  We get bitter cold followed by a series of Nor'easters that pound us with driving sleet and rain and up to hurricane force winds!  This is not your typical winter!  I'm a hearty person despite being raised in Louisiana where the heat and humidity now makes me want to wilt.  I loved the bitter cold because it was steady for about a month, a little snow, but just plain cold.  Bought myself some Uggs and used them every single day for over two months - definitely paid for the investment! Now that spring is trying to come (Saturday), we are getting these storms ripping up the coast and literally tearing us up!  Windows pound all night long.  Wind howls and at moments the house looks like it is literally breathing.  Now that reminds me of riding out hurricanes down in Louisiana; but this is winter in Massachusetts! 

Pieces of my back porch have been ripped off and blown away. I may find them in better weather or not. My poor flag hasn't been flown since before Christmas.  My windsock wrapped itself around the cow windchime and strangled it.  But the scariest part is seeing bricks fly off the top of my porch storage bin.  Yes bricks! I had three bricks on top of the tarp over the storage bin.  They all were blown off and then the tarp and one half of of the top of the storage bin.  Now this is all on a covered back porch on the second floor. 

Something wicked this way comes - whether it is climate change or apocalypse I don't know but this certainly isn't normal!  It's exciting but also annoying at the same time.  The trains are running behind schedule or even cancelled, roads are flooded and schools cancelled.  At least we didn't lose power this time...yet. So it really is a love/hate relationship with the weather.  It fascinates me but has its inconveniences.

Oh the forecast for later in the week...sunny and warmy.  Yeah, wait a minute it will change!


Saturday, February 13, 2010

How Bout Dem Saints!

Who Dat?!  Dat Who!  It all came true last Sunday night!  What an absolutely great football game.  I would have been perfectly happy with a well played game - meaning no blowout by Indy!  But who would have imagined at 31-17 win by the Saints!

The days of paper sacks and going to the game just for the sake of a party that might happen to be around a football game are gone.  That was my experience back in the '80s when we had season tickets.  I am still ecstatic with the win!  So proud of my hometown team! 

Now I'm wondering what will I ever do if the Saints and Patriots meet in a playoff or Super Bowl!  We know the Patriots lost to the Saints this season but it was just a regular season game, though I took a lot of ribbing from my friends and familia down in Louisiana.  Oh my - I guess I'd be happy no matter who won.   At least I have a few months to recover from all this excitement before the next NFL season begins!

I think the Saints know that most of the nation was cheering them on!  Patriot Nation was Who Dat Nation on Sunday night for sure.

Thank you Saints!  Thanks to my great friends, Lisa and Michelle, for sharing the experience and "raising the bar" at Sidelines! 

Some Men Should Have Electronic Collars...

or women should have better radar!  I know I'm kind of new at this whole going out and meeting people stuff as a single woman.  For those few of you who read this, you know I've had feelings reawakening and though I am not out stalking anyone (though there is this one guy.... no!), I'm more open to meeting people - guys in particular.  This is my coming out of grief, denial, and hibernation of the last three years.  But I swear guys can be the most contrary people!  And they complain about us women - ha!  Why is it the nice guys are the ones that don't make contact?  I should say the nice, available guys.  I think this is why women go out in packs (two or more) so we can protect one another from the creeps, the droolers, the drunks, the "hey baby I'm so good for you" types!  Now I'm not talking about every guy out there but for some reason there appears to be a proliferation of these types lately and they don't know when to leave you alone or just plain leave!

I go out by myself sometimes.  If I'm lucky I'll see that really cute guy I'm crushing on and we'll talk.  If not, then I still usually have a good time.  Usually!  Sometimes I just give up and go the heck home.  I don't want to be pawed, slobbered over, or fed drinks (one is nice, two is questionable).  I want to meet a nice guy and talk and get to know him.  There are guys who want to skip this whole bit!  They think we are going to look at them, listen to their line, and follow them home like a puppy.  Well you know what you can do with that!

Sometimes it even happens with those you know a little and think you are safe with.  My gosh!  One minute you're talking about football or whatever and the next thing you know he's putting the moves on you - literally and figuratively.  I know a lot of it is alcohol-infused - heck, I've been there and done that (but not recently). So I try to give a guy a bit of a break if that is the situation.  But enough is enough.  Don't get touchy-feely unless we invite it, which we usually won't.  You see, women try to be nice.  We don't like to create scenes.  We will smile and be gritting our teeth at the same time we're thinking "wtf?". We don't like to hurt anyone's feelings.  But some guys think that is tacit consent to proceed down another path.  Wrong!

We usually have pretty good radar but sometimes it goes on the fritz.  I remember one night a couple of months ago a friend and I met for drinks at our local pub.  It was before Christmas and there was a group of guys there having drinks before they went to a "private party".  One of them took a shine to my friend.  He offered to buy both of us a drink.  We both figured OK he's offering to buy for both of us so it's a nice holiday gesture.  The seat next to my friend opened up and he slid in there so fast you swear he left skid marks! He bought more drinks and talked and moved closer and closer.  She didn't want to make a scene or be violent. She ignored him, talked to me, talked to anyone but him.  Still he starts draping himself over her chair and over her.  No matter what we said, he would not leave her alone.  It got so bad I was getting ready to be rude and abnoxious when thankfully he had to leave for his "private party".  He left her his phone number and while she escaped to get some fresh air he came back in and told me to please tell her he "would make her so happy and be so good for her".  He knew this after one hour of loud, bar conversation.  Amazing!

Now that dude needed one of those electronic dog collars that has a remote where you can just zap them and say "down boy!".  Or maybe we should just carry tazers!

I've had two experiences lately with guys I know.  One is like my brother and I see quite often.  Yes he was drunk but after knowing him for many years he suddenly pulls me onto the dance floor (who knew he could dance?) for a slow dance.  Then it gets kissy and touchy.  I'm laughing but he is dead serious.  I will never hold it against him since he is such a good friend but I think I'll stay a couple drinks behind him and keep my guard up.  We're friends and will never be anything more.  The other was another bar encounter with an acquaintance.  I refuse to give up goig to my local pub and enjoying a drink or two with friends!

Oh sweet mystery of life - what the heck do we do?  The good ones don't always show up, don't always talk when they do but the others are always there!  Please don't get me wrong I love the company of a good man.  Where is he?

Tongue in cheek this is sort of - maybe. This is another of my baby steps!

Peace and maybe love?